Real-World Antidotes to Feel-Good Education

1. Life is not fair. Get used to it. The average teen-ager uses the phrase "It's not fair" 86 times a day.
2. The real world won't care as much about your self-esteem as your school does. This may come as a shock.
3. Sorry, you won't make $40,000 a year as soon as you get out of high school. And you won't be a vice president and have a car phone, either. You may even have to wear a uniform that doesn't have a designer label.
4. If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.
5. Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grandparents had a different word for burger flipping. They called it "opportunity."
6. It's not your parents' fault if you mess up. You're responsible. This is the mirror image of "It's my life" and "You're not my boss."
7. Before you were born, your parents weren't boring. They got that way by paying bills and listening to you.
8. Life is not divided into semesters. And you don't get summers off. Not even spring break. You are expected to show up every day for eight hours, and you don't get a new life every 10 weeks.
9. Smoking does not make you look cool. Watch an 11-year-old with a butt in his mouth. That's what you look like to anyone over 20.
10. Your school may be "outcome-based," but life isn't. In some schools, you're given as many chances as you want to get the answer right. Standards are set low enough so nearly everyone can meet them. This, of course, bears not the slightest resemblance to anything in real life - as you will soon find out.
Good luck. You are going to need it. And the harder you work, the luckier you will get.

Are Woman Smart?

For her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world.

The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis whom women will flock to".

The woman replied, "That's okay, because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will have eyes only for me."

So, KAZAM-she's the most beautiful woman in the world!

For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world.

The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world. And he will be ten times richer than you."

The woman said, "That's okay, because what's mine is his and what's his is mine."

So, KAZAM-she's the richest woman in the world!

The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, "I'd like a mild heart attack."

Moral of the story: Women are clever. Don't mess with them.

Attention female readers : This is the end of the joke for you. Stop here and
continue feeling good.

Male readers : Please scroll down.